Beyond Family and Friends: The Art of Holiday Giving to Service Providers, Colleagues, and Charities

The holidays are all about giving back, right?

You've heard it, I've heard, and frankly, by now, most of us feel like we've done our part after spending what feels like plenty on family this holiday season.

We've answered charity drives and slipped an extra twenty in that little red bucket set just outside the big box store.

What more can be done, right?

Well, if you're like me, the struggle isn't so much about parting ways with money, but rather, it's about knowing that you've given the right amount and to the right people.

Indeed, the truth is that many of us struggle with uncertainty about whether we've done our part to show our appreciation to those individuals who make our lives easier throughout the year.

From nannies to mail carriers, hairdressers and teachers, to colleagues and business partners to local charities, it can often feel overwhelming to think about how and when to show our gratitude to these vital individuals and organizations.

And yes, while it may feel overwhelming at first, the truth is that when done right, holiday gifting shows thanks to those who impact your life, can help develop strong relationships, and, frankly, make you feel better about giving back.

That's why, to be able to give right, you'll need to understand the ideal way to show your appreciation to those who help you, gift within reason, and learn how to show support to the right causes that are near and dear to your heart.

Recognizing Your Service Helpers: Why Year-End Gifts Matter

So then, when it comes to the service providers in your life, why should you consider giving any one of them a gift at the end of the year?

Well, offering a year-end gift is a great way to show your appreciation for all they've done for you and your family throughout the year.

In a way, it's really about saying "thanks" for their hard work all year.

Think about how your housekeeper, nanny, or hairdresser makes your life easier and more stress-free.

So then, by gifting to them, you're showing that you appreciate their reliable work, and, at the same time, it helps develop a good relationship with these essential people in your lives.

Another thing you'll want to consider is that in many places, service providers actually anticipate tips during the holidays because it's customary.

It's just how things are done, right?

Either way, when you think about it, the end of the year is a time to look back and thank those who've helped you. So then, gifting is a simple way to do this.

Expressing Gratitude to Those Who Make Life Easier

So then, how do you get started with figuring out how much to gift your service provider?

Well, the simple thing to do here is to make a list of all the individuals you call on on a regular basis, like your mail carrier, nanny, handyman, landscaper, hairdresser, and other individuals who make a daily impact on your life.

Then ask yourself, "what kind of relationship do I have with this individual, and how often do I engage with their services?"

Answering this question will help you better understand what kind of giving you want to accomplish and whether you should give money or a simple thank-you gift like candy, baked goods, or a card.

And when giving holiday tips or gifts to your service providers, be sure to check if they're allowed to accept your gifts.

Some jobs, like healthcare or financial services roles, have strict rules about receiving gifts, and you wouldn't want to accidentally cause trouble for someone.

Also, think about keeping things professional. In some jobs, accepting a gift might appear like a conflict of interest. And finally, it's essential to give a gift that feels right and doesn't make the other person feel uncomfortable or pressured to give you a gift in return.

Ultimately, when in doubt, keep it simple and thoughtful and just say "thanks."

Gifting to Colleagues and Business Partners: Strengthening Professional Bonds

Now that you've marked essential service providers off your list of individuals to be recognized this holiday season, the next group of people you'll want to consider is your colleagues and business partners.

And considering that you may work with dozens of individuals throughout the year, who specifically are we talking about here?

Well, these are the individuals who you not only work with on a regular basis but who, without their help, you likely would still have a lot on your plate this time of the year.

Indeed, giving gifts to colleagues and business partners during the holidays is essential.

That's because it's a way to show you appreciate and value the work and support they've given you throughout the year. And you know, this seemingly small act can really help strengthen your professional relationships in the year ahead.

At the same time, in in certain industries, like tech, finance and hospitality, it's kind of expected to exchange gifts during the holiday season.

That's because not doing so might make others feel overlooked.

Plus, giving gifts can also make you feel good, recognizing the role these people play in your success and, at the end of the day, it's a great way to wrap up the year and get ready for another year of working together.

Strengthening Professional Bonds with Meaningful Gifts

Now, gifting can become overwhelming to think about because, when you sit down to think about it, you might have a good number of people who help you on a regular basis.

So then how do you gift to colleagues or business partners without getting overwhelmed?

Well, to start, get back to the basics.

If you're a software engineer at a large tech company, consider giving gifts that resonate with the tech-savvy and professional nature of your colleagues.

A good choice might be high-quality tech accessories that can be used in the office, like a branded wireless mouse or a stylish laptop sleeve that are ultimately useful, align with the interests of your peers, and maintain a professional tone.

And if these items are out of your budget, consider giving branded gifts, like socks, which are easy to transport and have less fitting issues like t-shirts.

On the other hand, if you're the owner of real estate or a financial services firm, your gifts should reflect the more formal and traditional nature of your industry.

Here you'll likely want to opt for classic business gifts like elegant pens, leather-bound notebooks, or maybe a well-chosen book on business or finance.

These items are professional, useful in a business setting, and show that you've put thought into selecting something that aligns with the interests and needs of your colleagues and partners in the given sector.

Another thing to consider as you're thinking about gifts for colleagues for business associates is the gift's appropriateness.

And what are we talking about here?

Well, start by asking yourself, "will the gift I'm considering show awareness of the recipient's cultural and religious background, or will it be open to misinterpretation?"

This question is crucial because the last thing you want to do is spoil the festive mood.

That's why, when you're picking out a gift for someone at work, it's really important to think about their cultural and religious background.

Taking this approach shows that you respect and understand where they're coming from and you don't want to accidentally give something that could be taken the wrong way or make them uncomfortable.

Ultimately, keep your gifts simple, thoughtful, and genuine to show your appreciation.

Charity Gifts that Matter: Making a Difference in Your Community

Now, the last group that you'll likely want to consider giving to during the holidays is your local charity.

And sure, by now, you've likely already made some contributions to that little red bucket outside of the grocery or big box store.

But for many of us out there, the giving season often leaves us asking if there's anything more that we can do to support our community.

So then, if this is you, now may be a great time to show your support by giving of your time, talents or treasure.

Choosing the Right Charitable Path this Holiday Season

Now, the big question for many of you out there is, "which charity should I give my money to this year?"

That's because there are so many options to choose from, picking the right cause to support this time of the year can make your head spin!

Even so, the truth is that you can make a big impact in your community this holiday season by doing a little due diligence before doing any of the giving work.

How so?

Well, before you give to your local charity, it's crucial to do a bit of homework to ensure your donation is used effectively and for the cause you care about.

So then, to achieve this end, you'll likely want to start by researching the charity's mission and programs. Here what you're trying to do is to ensure that their goals align with your values and interests.

To accomplish this end, go your chosen charity's website or look through their annual report to evaluate their impact and what they've achieved so far.

Next, check your chosen organization's financial health and how transparent they are about where your donation goes.

Here, you'll find tools like Charity Navigator or GuideStar that provide detailed insights into a charity's financials, including how they spend their funds.

And what exactly are you looking for?

Well, you'll want to ensure that a good portion of their budgets go directly to their programs rather than administrative costs.

At the same time, you'll also want to understand how the charity operates and who is in charge. That's because knowing who leads the organization and how they make decisions can give you confidence in their management team and, ultimately, their ability to deliver on their mission.

Ultimately, it's crucial to ask yourself, "Do I have all the information I need to give to a cause before I donate my time, talents or treasures?"

Here again, you can use resources like Charity Navigator or GuideStar, so you can understand the charity's need before making a cash or in-kind donation.

Indeed, knowing more about a charity lets you choose the best way to help and when you understand the charity's work, it feels more rewarding to contribute.

Either way, this approach can help ensure that your contribution makes an impact and goes to a legitimate casuse.

Beyond Material Value: The True Essence of Giving Back

When it comes down to it, when you give gifts to service providers, colleagues, and charities during the holidays, you're doing something that truly matters.

That's because giving to service providers is a way to thank them for their hard work and shows them that you appreciate what they do for you all year.

And with your colleagues, gifting helps strengthen your work relationships and makes the office a more pleasant place to be because your gift is a way of saying that you're glad to work with them.

And when you donate to charities, what you're doing there is helping people who really need it, especially at this time of the year. Indeed, it's a way to spread kindness and feel good about giving back.

Ultimately, these gifts are more than just money or things that you’re giving away, they’re ways to show gratitude and make a positive difference that take you one step closer to becoming the master of your own financial independence journey.

by Peter Donisanu

Use a Giving Strategy to Help Causes You Care About

So, you want to give money, but not sure where to start?

Well, I don’t blame you.

Giving is hard because, according to some of the data out there, there are well over one million registered non-profits globally.

Even so, if you're like me, the holidays serve as a reminder about how crucial it is to focus on giving rather than receiving.

So then, with all the choices available to you, who exactly are you supposed to give your money to in the first place?

Like, which one is the best pick, right? It's enough to put you into a state of analysis paralysis.

Now, make no mistake, this lack of action isn't because of a shortage of red cans, street performers, or local charity adverts asking for money this time of the year.

Yet still, for many of us, the big question is, "where do I start with so many options out there?"

Now, if you have a genuine desire to give wisely this holiday season, but don't know where to start, then the good news is that you can achieve this end by approaching charitable giving with a clear understanding of your motivations, commitment level, and a well-defined strategy.

To be sure, by approaching this giving season with a predefined game plan, you can not only ensure that your contributions make a meaningful and lasting difference, it will also help you achieve peace of mind knowing that your time, talent, and treasures are being used effectively to bring about positive change in the world around you.

Section 1: Start with your Why

Alright, so when it comes to crafting a winning giving strategy, one of the first things you'll want to do is to start with your "why."

And why is this seemingly subjective approach the first thing to do?

Shouldn't you instead work through sorting a list of non-profits or charities to give your money to?

Well, the fact is that starting with your "why" helps you focus your charitable giving energy and intentions.

Indeed, when you take a step back and look at the world around you, you might notice pressing challenges in your community that tug at your heartstrings.

And so, starting with your "why" allows you to focus your giving on supporting those crucial causes.

How so?

Well, the process itself forces you to ask: What issues or challenges deeply resonate with me? What do I envision for a better world or society? Or perhaps, what are my long-term altruistic goals?

So then, these introspective questions effectively act as the cornerstone of your philanthropic journey.

Indeed, identifying your "why" for giving can set a solid foundation for all your future altruistic endeavors. You can think of it like building a house by ensuring that the foundation is rock solid before building from the ground up.

And so, what does this look like in practice?

The Practice of Why

Well, imagine for a moment that your "why" is centered around your passion for children's education. With this clarity, then, you could channel your resources towards programs that bolster education, provide scholarships, or even set up reading centers in your local community.

In a similar way, if environmental conservation speaks to your "why", then you could use your funds to support reforestation projects, wildlife preservation, or sustainable community initiatives.

In essence, by understanding your passion and where you want to give, you pave the way for a purposeful and impactful contribution.

So, now that you understand why knowing your "why" is so essential for your giving efforts, what should you do next?

Well, here again, before signing that check or making your next donation, take a moment to reflect on what you genuinely want your giving efforts to accomplish. This moment of introspection should be more than just a fleeting feeling, and rather a thoughtful decision that guides your wealth toward making a meaningful difference in your community and in your world.

Section 2: Identify Your Level of Commitment

Alright, so now that you've identified your primary motivation for giving, and have focused the direction of your giving efforts, let's spend some time talking about commitment.

Now, while some of you might believe that charitable giving primarily involves writing checks or donating money, the truth is that making a dent in the world extends much further than just giving away your financial resources.

How so?

Well, when it comes down to it, there are a multitude of ways you can impact the world around you that involve varying degrees of your resources.

You see, the real beauty of creating a giving strategy lies in the variety of ways you can contribute to making a difference in the community around you.

And so, what are we talking about here?

Well, here again, it's not just about using your financial treasures to support things you care about. It's also about dedicating your time and sharing your unique talents.

So then, when it comes to creating your giving strategy, once you've identified your "why", take a few moments to dive deeper and ask yourself, "how much of my time, talent, or treasures do I want to be involved in with my altruistic efforts?"

Gifting

For example, you might just want to make a one-off gift to a cause close to your heart, and that's perfectly fine. This form of giving, typically known as gifting, can still be a beacon of hope and positivity for someone in need.

And so, what are the benefits of gifting? Well, to start, gifting offers you the immediacy of making an impact. That's because, when you feel moved by a cause or an issue, gifting allows you to act on that impulse without any delays.

And so, the direct nature of this approach means that your chosen charity can receive and deploy your donation faster, possibly leading to quicker positive change.

And, from a practical standpoint, the benefit of simple gifting is that it's often less cumbersome. That's because there's no need for extensive paperwork, tax structuring, or legal consultations. And this approach can be especially appealing if you're not looking to commit a significant portion of your time or if you're new to the world of charitable giving.

Finally, simple gifting affords you flexibility because you're not tied to long-term commitments or obligations. This means you can respond to evolving needs, shift your focus as you learn more about yourself and your giving effort, or adjust your giving based on your personal circumstances.

Philanthropy

But what if you're thinking bigger?

Well, that's where philanthropy comes into play.

But, hold on, aren't gifting and philanthropy the same thing?

Well, the truth is that philanthropy often goes beyond sporadic acts of charity. That's because it demands a more intentional, strategic approach.

Here, you're not just donating your money, you're often actively partnering with causes, leading both with your resources and your voice, and aiming for a long-term change.

Now, this philanthropic approach might involve creating scholarships, funding specific research projects, or even setting up institutions to ensure that the causes close to your heart are being supported the way you want them to be.

Philanthropy also provides you the opportunity to collaborate with other like-minded individuals or institutions. This isn't just about pooling financial resources but also about sharing knowledge, expertise, and vision.

And so, through these collaborations, your efforts can be amplified, leading to results that you might not achieve alone.

Another aspect to consider is the legacy you leave behind. With philanthropy, you have the chance to create enduring institutions or initiatives.

How so?

Well, you can think of scholarships, research centers, or community programs that can benefit for generations to come. And, while simple gifting might address present needs, philanthropy allows you to plant seeds for a future you might not even witness.

Overall, the key difference between gifting and philanthropy is a higher level of commitment.

Effective Altruism

Now, when it comes to varying levels of giving commitment, effective altruism takes philanthropy a step further.

How so?

Well, with effective altruism, every penny, every moment, every ounce of your talent is directed towards making the most quantifiable difference in causes that matter most to you.

Here, it's not just about doing good, but about doing the most good you possibly can. So then, for those of you who want to deeply engage and ensure that your contributions lead to measurable impacts, this is the route to consider.

And what exactly is effective altruism?

Well, at its core, effective altruism challenges you to think not just about how to do good, but how to do the most good with the resources you have available.

It adds a layer of analytical rigor to philanthropic giving, and encourages you to evaluate and prioritize causes based on their potential for a quantifiable impact.

And so, how is effective altruism different from the other approaches? Well, while simple gifting might be driven by a desire to make an immediate impact or a desire to address a present need, and philanthropy might look at broader systemic change and legacy, effective altruism encourages you to merge your heart's desires with your head's reason.

How so?

Well, imagine that you're faced with various causes and organizations that you can support. What effective altruism does is that it helps guide your decision-making by emphasizing evidence and effectiveness of your chosen cause.

Now, this is important because instead of spreading your resources thinly or being influenced by the most compelling narrative, you're encouraged to concentrate your efforts where they can make the most significant difference. It's a philosophy that melds the passion of giving with the discipline of data and research.

Moreover, effective altruism pushes you to constantly reassess and refine your giving strategy. Now, this is crucial because the world of charitable giving is vast and varied, and new information and research constantly emerge.

And so, by adhering to the principles of effective altruism, in effect what you're doing is committing to a path of continuous learning, adapting, and evolving your approach based on the latest evidence and understanding.

Choosing Your Level of Commitment

So then, how can you determine your level of commitment?

Well, when it comes to your giving strategy, think about whether you merely want to make a simple gift, whether you're looking to take an active, strategic role in philanthropy, or whether you're leaning towards the all-encompassing path of effective altruism.

Then, once you've identified your desired level of commitment, align it with the right approach. Whether it's a simple donation, a strategic philanthropic partnership, or an analytical altruistic commitment, make sure your intentions and actions are ultimately in alignment.

Remember, the key is to find a method that resonates with you and feels right for you, given your time, talent, and treasures.

Section 3: Build Your Giving Strategy

Alright, so now that you've honed in on your "why" and have identified how you want to give of your treasures, now, the pressing question is: where exactly do you find the right causes that align with your goals and intentions?

Well, there are often a number of ways to identify where to give your money. You can ask friends, passively look for causes in your community or respond to adverts that come in the mail.

With that said, however, you're likely to make a more effective dent in the universe if you narrow your giving shortlist by using objective data.

Indeed, as you get going, it's essential to approach your giving process with the mindset of an investigator. Here again, you're not just looking for a place to donate, you're searching for a partner in your altruistic journey.

Now, there are a number of tools and resources out there that offer transparency and insights into various charities and non-profits.

But for the purpose of today's discussion, we'll focus by narrowing down your search on relevant websites that rate and review these organizations.

And, so, what are these resources?

Well, websites like Charity Navigator or GiveWell provide extensive data on the effectiveness, transparency, and impact of various charitable and non-profit institutions out there.

Indeed, when you turn to websites like Charity Navigator and GiveWell to inform your charitable giving, you're tapping into a rich reservoir of research and expertise. These platforms can play a crucial role in enhancing your giving experience, no matter if you're leaning towards simple gifting, broader philanthropy, or the results-focused approach of effective altruism.

For example, while Charity Navigator focuses on aspects like financial health and accountability of charities, GiveWell hones in on cost-effectiveness and evidence of impact. This kind of insight ensures that you're directing your resources to organizations that are not only responsible with the resources you give, but are also effective at using it to help those in need.

Imagine the time you'd spend sifting through countless charities, trying to determine their legitimacy or impact. These platforms handle that daunting task for you. Their evaluations and analyses help streamline your decision-making, giving you more time to focus on the causes you're passionate about.

Another thing to consider is that charities and non-profit entities evolve over time, which can have an impact on their effectiveness, management, and overall impact.

So then, it's heartening to know that platforms like Charity Navigator and GiveWell don't remain static because they continually update their evaluations, providing you with the freshest data to make a more informed decision with your giving.

Finally, beyond the rankings and numerical evaluations, you'll find a treasure trove of articles, insights, and resources on these websites. This knowledge base can further inform and refine your approach to giving, helping you become not just a donor but a well-educated giver.

How to Give Your Money Away with Peace of Mind

You know, when it comes down to it, it's easy to become overwhelmed with the sheer number of charitable options before us, especially when giving takes center stage during the holidays.

Nevertheless, remember that it's not about the quantity, but the quality of your contributions that counts.

Indeed, it's about ensuring that your generosity truly counts and creates an impact on the world around you. So then, rather than getting lost in the maze of options, take a step back and reflect on what resonates most with you, your values, and your capacity to give, whether it's your time, talents or treasures.

And so, by being intentional and strategic with your contributions, you not only amplify the effects of your generosity but also nurture a deeper sense of fulfillment towards the causes that matter most to you.

After all, giving isn't just a seasonal act, it's a lifelong process.

So then, as the holiday lights twinkle and the festive spirit fills the air, take a moment to strategize, align with your purpose, and give in a way that leaves a lasting legacy, but most importantly, one that takes you one step closer to becoming the master of your financial independence journey.

by Peter Donisanu

Living Your Legacy vs. Leaving a Legacy

What comes to mind when you hear the phrase "leaving a legacy?" Well, when it comes to money, you might think about the ins-and-outs of estate plans, right?

Well, the truth is that that's just one side of the big picture.

You see, too often, many of us get caught up in thinking about WHAT our money can do after we're gone instead of HOW our the one we care about might actually use our wealth.

Indeed, legacy planning centered solely around money is simply a passive strategy built on the hope that your beneficiaries will take your pile of cash and hopefully do something good with it one day.

So then, what can you do if you truly want to use your money to make a dent in the universe?

Well, you can start by actively using your wealth today to intentionally form and cultivate relationships that last the test of time.

In other words, you can begin by "living your legacy" instead of planning to "leave a legacy."

And why's that important?

Well, that's because cultivating healthy relationships is a key determinant of our emotional well-being. Ultimately, genuine connections, shared experiences, and mutual understanding form the core of enduring legacies.

In essence, a legacy built solely on cash can easily vanish, but one grounded in meaningful relationships stands the test of time.

You know, every day offers an opportunity to shape your legacy. And so, you can start today by cultivating healthy relationships, giving your money purpose, and laying the foundation for future wealth appreciation.

Legacy Goes Beyond Money

Alright, so if you're still following along with me, then you're likely in a unique position where you want to make a significant impact on the world.

Sure, you could be the next Dale Carnegie and build schools and libraries or start a private foundation so that you can help future generations, but let's pause for a moment and consider what truly defines a lasting legacy.

Is it the zeroes in your bank account? Is your legacy the assets that you've accumulated or the things they will buy?

Or is it something more profound, something more enduring?

Well, Merriam-Webster defines legacy as "something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor from the past."

It's About Relationships

To be sure, at the heart of any meaningful legacy lies the power of human connection. You know, it's not just about the tangible assets you gather but the hearts you touch, the stories you inspire, and the memories you leave behind.

These are the echoes of your existence that will reverberate long after you're gone.

In fact, the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the most comprehensive longitudinal studies in history, has shown us that close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives.

Indeed, in this famous study that spans nearly 90 years, university researchers periodically checked in on Harvard graduates to identify how they were doing in life. But, more specifically, they were trying to identify if there was a specific set of factors that influenced an individual's well-being throughout life.

And you know what they found? Well, you guessed it.

It wasn't their career, or money, or fame or notoriety.

It was their relationships.

And crucially, it was found that the health of these close relationships largely determined the well-being of the individuals being studied.

And why is this perspective important?

Well, the fact is that healthy relationships have shown the ability to protect people from life's ups-and-downs, help to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ, or even genes.

And this emotional wealth, or rather the wealth of strong relationships and deep emotional connections, is truly priceless.

So then, when intentionally nurtured through time, what you have is a kind of wealth that gets passed down through generations. And not just as tales told around dinner tables but as values, traditions, and life lessons that shape the very fabric of our families and communities.

You know, the choices you make today can have a ripple effect through time. Just as a butterfly's wings can set off a typhoon halfway around the world, a single act of kindness, a piece of wisdom shared, or a hand extended in support can have an unforeseen impact in the lives of others.

Indeed, the relationships you nurture today, the bonds you strengthen, and the communities you build have the potential to influence countless lives in the future.

And so, how can you use your wealth today to "live a legacy" instead of preparing to "leave a legacy?"

Wealth as a Experience Amplifier

Well, while that new gadget or luxury car might bring a fleeting sense of happiness, at the end of the day, it's the experiences you invest in that truly shape your life and the lives of those around you. Think about it, when you look back on your life, it's not the things you owned that stand out, but the moments you lived with others that are etched into your mind.

Indeed, it's the family vacations, the surprise birthday parties, the spontaneous road trips that are the memories that become a part of your legacy narrative.

These events teach you, mold you, and give depth and meaning to your existence. So then, by using your wealth to invest in experiences, what you're doing is not just buying a ticket to an event or a stay at a luxury resort, but rather, you're investing in quality time with your loved ones that they'll likely never forget.

So then, this act of using your wealth to create a presence, of truly being there in the moment, amplifies and strengthens bonds and creates memories that will be cherished and told over and over for generations.

Wealth as a Knowledge Amplifier

Now, another way that your wealth can amplify its effects on future generations is through investing in your family's education.

And why is this this important?

Well, imagine the potential of a young mind given the right resources and the right guidance. Every dollar you put into scholarships or mentorship programs isn't just funding a course or a semester, it's potentially changing the trajectory of an individual's life.

So then, what you're doing is planting the seeds for the future and nurturing the leaders, thinkers, and innovators who will shape the world of tomorrow.

So, as you stand at the crossroads of decisions, as you contemplate the legacy you wish to leave behind, remember that the choices you make now, especially in cultivating and nurturing healthy relationships and investing in the education and well-being of the next generation, can create a legacy far more valuable and enduring than any material wealth.

In the end, your legacy isn't just about what you leave behind, it's about how you used your money to amplify the effects of the lives you touch, the futures you shape, and the world you change.

A Framework for Intention

Alright, so now that we've discussed what it means to live a legacy and how your wealth can amplify the positive effects on future generations, let's talk about some ways you could go about living your legacy today.

Foundations: Family and Community

Now, one way to think about living your legacy is to imagine the foundation of your legacy as a home.

You know, every great home, every lasting structure, starts with a solid foundation. And when it comes to your legacy, or how you will be remembered, your family and community are that foundation.

They are the roots of influence, and the very bedrock upon which your legacy stands.

Because, let's face it: when you're gone, your family and community will still be around to tell your story, and there's nothing you can do to defend yourself after the fact.

So then, before you can hope to leave your impact on the world at large, it's essential that those closest to you, including those at your family dinner table, or those in your community gatherings, are the first to bear witness to your values, adopt them, and carry them forward.

To be sure, before you can influence the world, you must first influence those closest to you.

And how do you create influence with your family and community?

Well, this is where relationships come in.

Relationships: Create Structure for your Legacy

More specifically, we've discussed how family and community are the foundation of your legacy.

Now, think of relationships as the frame of this home. They are what give it structure and what hold it up.

And these relationships, when cultivated and nurtured over time, are the threads that intricately weave together the story of your legacy. They are what strengthen the bonds that transcend time and ensure that your influence remains even when you're no longer physically present to make an impact.

And so, it's the trust you build within these relationships that act as a guardian, or a custodian of your legacy, ensuring that the principles you've instilled are upheld and passed down through generations.

You know, your family and community are the foundational pillars upon which lasting legacies are built. They are the first to witness, adopt, and pass on the values and principles you hold dear.

That's why the lessons taught at the family dinner table or community gatherings often have the most profound and lasting impact on future generations.

Building Resilience Into Your Home

And so, now that you've laid the foundation with your family and your community, and you've built the walls that hold up your home with relationships, the next big question to consider is, "can your legacy stand the test of time?"

In other words, do you want to leave a legacy that others are willing to live themselves, or are you simply looking to leave behind a structure that future generations can look back at in awe?

Now, at this point, you're likely asking yourself, "what are we talking about here?"

Well, this point becomes crystal clear when we think of the life of Cornelius Vanderbilt.

You know, when Vanderbilt amassed his fortune in the 19th century, some estimates say that his wealth could have been twice that of Jeff Bezos' today, when adjusted for inflation.

And, arguably, Vanderbilt's success was a product of his ability to navigate this environment, combined with his personal drive, ambition, and luck.

But, with all that said, as you move down the generational line, the context starts to change.

That's because the descendants of Cornelius Vanderbilt were born into privilege. And unlike their forebear, they didn't experience the same struggles or need to cultivate the same entrepreneurial spirit.

In other words, Cornelius left behind the money for his family to enjoy, but didn't offer much in the way of structure.

Now, this isn't to say they his family was inherently flawed or lazy, but rather that their social context was vastly different. That's because they were raised in a world of opulence, where their immediate need to innovate or hustle was less pronounced.

More crucially, however, the Vanderbilt descendants were likely left without an ability to form or build resilience, and, as a result, much of the Vanderbilt wealth no longer exists today.

You see, it's one thing to have a solid foundation, but what makes a house a home is the energy that you bring into it to encourage future generations to paint the walls, decorate the interior and bring warmth and delight that comes with traditions and celebrations that get enjoyed by one generation to the next.

So then, when we're talking about the very heartbeat and engine of living a legacy, it needs to include a focus on values, principles, and work ethic.

And how does this approach fit into the broader context of a legacy?

Values Shape the Direction of Future Generations

Well, imagine that you're setting out on a journey to a place you've never been to before. Here then, without a clear context or understanding of the kind of behavior expected in this new environment, your values and principles act as your moral compass, guiding every step you take.

But more crucially, however, your chosen values and principles, the ones you share and impart with your family and community, light the way for those who follow in your footsteps. It teaches them how to navigate similar experiences in the future.

You know, it's one thing to create the foundations of a solid legacy, but without guidance or instruction that future generations can depend on, your legacy likely won't last very long.

Indeed, as you navigate the ups and downs of life, the values and principles you pick up along the way can become the timeless teachings that you pass on. And so, while material wealth may wane, these teachings that you pass down are eternal, and continue to guide and influence others long after you've shared them.

So, when you think about your legacy, understand that it's more than just a reflection of you. It's a roadmap for others. It's a way to ensure that the wisdom you've gained, the values you hold dear, and the work ethic you've cultivated don't just end with you.

These values that you're sharing, they ripple outwards, influencing and inspiring others, shaping destinies, and driving lasting change. Your legacy, then, is your gift to the future. It's a testament to the belief that we can, and should, leave the world better than we found it.

Creating a Lasting Legacy

Alright, so now that we've talked about what living a legacy means and how family, relationships, and values form a lasting role, the big question now is how exactly do you step into the director's chair in this production called 'Your Legacy'?

Crafting a Vision for Your Legacy

Well, first things first, you have to start with a compelling vision.

And why is vision important for a legacy?

Well, crafting a compelling vision for your legacy is like setting a course for a ship's journey.

Without a clear direction, the ship may drift aimlessly, and so the same can be said for the impact you wish to leave behind.

That's why, when you define a powerful vision for your legacy, you're not just thinking about the here and now. You're also considering the long-term ripple effects of your actions and intentions.

So then, your vision serves as a beacon, guiding your decisions, actions, and investments. And it ensures that the resources you allocate, whether they're time, money, or effort, align with the lasting impact you wish to create.

And so, how do you go about doing this work?

Well, you can start by asking yourself, "Beyond professional achievements, how do I want to be remembered?"

Do you want to be remembered for groundbreaking work in your industry?

Or maybe, you want to be remembered for inspiring a generation to challenge traditional norms?

By being intentional about your vision, what you're doing is setting sights on a guiding light, or a touchstone that can shape the lives of those who come after you.

Documenting Your Legacy

The next thing that you'll want to do is to document your journey.

Now, this might sound like a trite or insignificant step, but documenting your journey is a pivotal step because this remembrance serves as the script of your legacy, offering invaluable insights to future generations.

And so, when you embark on the journey of documenting your life, you're not just penning down events or milestones, what you're doing is capturing the essence of experiences, lessons, and values that have shaped your life.

How much different could the lives of Vanderbilts have been had they had the ability to understand what made Cornelius tick?

Indeed, you can think of this journaling as a bridge that you're building between the past, present, and future. And so, by chronicling your journey, what you're doing is providing future generations with a window into your world, and offering them insights that might otherwise be lost with time.

How so?

Well, imagine all the countless decisions you've made, or the challenges you've overcome, and the moments of joy and sorrow you've experienced.

Each of these actions has contributed to the person you've become, right?

So then, by documenting these moments, what you're doing is giving your descendants the opportunity to learn from your wisdom, to understand the context of their heritage, and to draw inspiration from your resilience and achievements.

Strategic Legacy Planning

And now, the last thing you'll want to consider as you build out the framework for your legacy is to consider strategic legacy planning.

Now, strategic legacy planning is like charting a course for a ship that you won't be captaining.

You know that house that you're building? It's a maintenance script you're leaving behind for future generations.

Here, it's about ensuring that the wealth, values, and vision you've amassed over your lifetime are not just passed on, but they're also stewarded and amplified in the ways you intend.

And why is this important?

Well, without a strategic plan, even the most significant legacies can dissipate, be mismanaged, or be misunderstood by subsequent generations.

Indeed, recall our earlier example of Cornelius Vanderbilt, one of the wealthiest individuals in history.

Despite his immense wealth, the Vanderbilt fortune saw a significant decline over the years. And, within a few decades, some of his descendants found themselves penniless, without the vast resources that once defined the Vanderbilt name.

Now, imagine if Vanderbilt had engaged in strategic legacy planning.

He could have set up structures, trusts, or foundations to ensure that his wealth was not only preserved but also used in ways that aligned with his vision and values.

At the same time, he could have provided guidance on business management, investments, and philanthropy, ensuring that his descendants had the knowledge and tools to maintain and grow the family's assets.

And with a strategic plan in place, Vanderbilt could have instilled a sense of purpose and responsibility in his heirs. So then, his heirs would have been better equipped to handle their family fortune because they truly understood its origins, its intended impact, and their role in its stewardship.

And you know, this could have fostered a culture of responsibility, innovation, and philanthropy within the family, that ensured that the Vanderbilt legacy remained strong and influential for many more generations.

In essence, strategic legacy planning is not just about asset preservation, it's also about ensuring that your legacy, in all its facets, continues to thrive and positively influence others, long after you're gone.

How to Avoid Leaving a Failed Legacy

You know, when we talk about legacy, it's easy to think of it as something that comes into play only at the end of our journey. But in reality, legacy is an ongoing process shaped by our daily actions and choices.

Indeed, legacy isn't just about what you leave behind after you're gone, it's about the impact you make while you're still here. It's the sum of your actions, big and small, and how they impact the lives of others.

So then, as you go about your day, think about the kind of legacy you want to leave behind and how you can make a positive difference in the lives of others right now and for generations to come.

That's because you never know how the choices you make today will one day help future generations take one step closer to becoming the masters of their own financial independence journeys.

by Peter Donisanu

Manage Your New Money Like Old Money

So, you’ve finally made it big in your career, or your startup has finally taken off.

What should you do with your money now?

Well, whatever you do, it's crucial to be mindful of the advice you take.

You see, all you need to do is log in to any social media website, and you're likely to find accounts that claim to have wealth "secrets" available only to the rich and famous.

But you know the truth is that when it comes to prudently managing your newfound wealth, there are no shortcuts out there.

In fact, Old Money families typically follow a tried-and-true principled approach to managing their money rather than spending their time looking for cheat codes.

To be sure, what distinguishes Old Money wealth from the New Money rich is not just how long a family has held on to their money but also what they do to keep that wealth growing from one generation to the next.

That's because it's one thing to make a lot of money and double it in short order and quite another to keep it steadily growing, decade after decade.

Look, Las Vegas wouldn't exist if tourists didn't have the chance to win big, but in the end, the house always wins.

So then, if you've made a lot of money and want to look for potential shortcuts that claim to pay off big, then more power to you.

But if you've accumulated substantial sum of money and want to utilize a proven approach that allow your money to grow from one generation to the next, then here are three Old Money principles that you'll likely want to consider.

Principle #1: Old Money Starts with the Long View

Alright, before we dive in, let's get clear about what we mean by Old Money.

And, what do we mean here?

Well, you know how some families have been rich for generations like the Hiltons or the Du Ponts?

That's 'old money,' or wealth that's been in the family for ages.

And you know, that wealth didn't just happen overnight. It started with a founding family member making it big and then choosing to manage their money deliberately over time.

So then, when it comes to managing your newfound wealth like Old Money, one of the first principles you’ll want to wrap your head around is that Old Money families typically have a long view when it comes to managing their wealth.

In fact, while you may be accustomed to creating a five- or ten-year plan, when it comes to building generational wealth, many Old Money families think in terms of 100-year plans.

Now, while you may not be interested in leaving a legacy that lasts 100 years, the takeaway here is that the Old Money approach has less to do with answering questions like, "where is the market headed next week" or "which investment is likely to go parabolic", and more to do with "how can I mitigate investment risk, and reduce taxes to make this money last a long time?"

To be sure, many Old Money families have a clear vision or mission statement that helps guide their financial decision making. And this vision and mission statement can be geared towards providing a solid base for generations to come, philanthropic giving, managing business ventures, or using their wealth to support causes near and dear to the family.

So then, from this perspective, take some time to sit down and think through what you want your wealth to do for you and your family. Maybe you're not ready yet to create a 100-year plan, and that's okay. Either way, take the long view.

Start with the End in Mind

And if you're not sure where to begin in the long-term planning process, then start with some imaginative roleplay. Here, what you can do is just take a few minutes to picture yourself lying in bed in your final moments.

As you do, ask yourself, who is there with you? What are you talking about? How do you feel in that moment? What sort of regrets might you have, and wish you hadn't?

Your answers to these questions will likely help spark a starting point for the vision and mission statement you're working on.

Indeed, Donald Miller, author of the book, "Hero on a Mission," encourages readers to write their own eulogy and read it daily. And why's that? Well, this take on the long view can help crystallize your priorities and focus your mind on what you should be doing every day.

So then, at the very least, start with the end in mind.

That's because giving your money purpose beyond just growing for the sake of growth will help you identify ideal investment and tax management strategies to build meaningful and enduring wealth your family can enjoy for years to come.

Principle #2: Old Money Spends Money Where it Counts

Alright, now that we've discussed how Old Money families and individuals start with a long view of their wealth, the next principle to consider is that Old Money spend money where it counts.

Now, when you think of how Old Money individuals make financial decisions, you might be inclined to believe they are miserly or excessively frugal with their spending. Indeed, this perception paints a picture of those from long-established wealthy families as being tight-fisted with their money.

With that said, however, this perspective only captures a sliver of the truth and can't be universally applied to all Old Money families.

That’s because, when it comes to making spending decisions, Old Money families emphasize preserving wealth for future generations. Indeed, in many situations, they might adopt more conservative spending habits so they can ensure there's more money around for future generations, and sometimes, this can be mistaken for someone being miserly.

Now, another point to consider is that, just as we just mentioned a moment ago, these families place a high value on the longevity of their wealth. To be sure, rather than making flashy or impulsive one-off purchases, they might invest in quality items that stand the test of time and can be passed on from one generation to the next.

So then, this focus on longevity likely will lead them to make fewer purchases, and so, from an outsider's perspective, it might look like they're being overly frugal.

What's more, it's worth noting that many Old Money individuals don't necessarily flaunt their wealth. Indeed, besides some of the rich and famous you might read or hear about on social media, genuine Old Money individuals typically don't engage in ostentatious displays of spending, which can lead you to think they aren't spending much.

Now, what's going on below the surface, and often what you can't see, however, is the deep-rooted values that are being handed down through generations. And these values often emphasize responsibility, stewardship, and giving back that promote more purposeful spending rather than showing up the neighbors.

So then, how can you ensure that you're spending where it counts?

Well, to start, keep in mind the importance of quality over flashiness.

Remember, just because you can afford something doesn't mean it's a wise purchase. That's why when you consider how to spend your wealth, think of things and experiences that offer long-lasting value and memories you can cherish for a lifetime.

For example, when you're planning to purchase a new house or car, invest in those things that not only resonate with your taste but also those that will stand the test of time in terms of durability and enduring appeal.

Next, consider the ongoing costs of your purchases. You know, acquiring a luxury or high-priced property, more often than not comes with higher maintenance costs, taxes, and other professional needs.

That's why, before making such big-ticket commitments, think about the long-term implications for your cash flows and take some time to consider whether these recurring expenses will hinder your ability to invest or save.

Now, to spend your new money like old money, you'll also want to take the time to discern between your wants and needs.

Yep, you’ve likely heard this one before and so, it's essential to note here that we're not telling you to pinch every penny!

Instead, while indulging occasionally is okay, keep an eye on habitual extravagant spending which can quickly erode your wealth if you don’t pay attention to it.

Indeed, that's why it's essential to create a personal or family budget, even if it seems counterintuitive with your newfound wealth. To be sure, Old Money families still create budgets even though they might have millions of dollars available to spend because this practice instills discipline and provides clarity about their financial health.

Finally, when it comes to spending wisely, it's essential to come back to our first principle and remember the legacy you want to leave behind. Listen, if you want to YOLO-it-up and die with zero, then more power to you. But, if you want to pass on wealth to the next generation or make a lasting dent in the universe, then your current expenses should align with that broader vision.

Either way, what's essential to take away here is that managing your expenses like Old Money isn't about restricting yourself but rather it's about making intentional choices with your spending. And so, by adopting a more thoughtful and forward-looking approach to spending, you'll ensure that your wealth serves you well and lasts beyond just your lifetime.

Principle #3: Old Money Knows when to Make it a Collaborative Effort

Alright, so now that we've discussed taking a long view and creating an intentional spending plan, the final principle we'll cover here today is knowing when to bring in others.

Now, this principle is likely going to be difficult for many of you out there, especially if you've bootstrapped your career or business and built your wealth from nothing into something.

But you know, there's a proverb that says, "if you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go together." And this proverb is a gentle reminder that while your individual pursuits might have led you to the wealth you have today, collective efforts from the people around you have the power to sustain that wealth so it can have more profound, long-lasting impacts.

Indeed, as you navigate life's journey, this wisdom nudges you to value relationships and community, understanding that in the company of others, you can overcome greater challenges and achieve more meaningful successes than you otherwise would alone.

Now, when you consider the trajectory of Old Money families, it's critical to note that they've rarely sprinted to their fortunes in isolation. Instead, they've often built, maintained, and grown their wealth over generations, leaning on a collective approach.

And this collaborative mindset is rooted in the understanding that, while individual brilliance can yield quick gains, lasting wealth is most often the product of collaborative efforts.

How so?

Well, imagine if you were to handle all your investments, legal matters, taxation, and philanthropic endeavors alone. You might achieve some successes rapidly, but the chances of missteps or oversight would also increase because you're stretched too thin.

That’s why Old Money families recognize these pitfalls and harness the collective wisdom of not just family members but also advisors, experts, and trusted confidants. Indeed, they understand how beneficial it is to have multiple perspectives and diverse expertise at the table when it comes to sustaining wealth over the long haul.

What's more, the idea of "going together" also extends to succession planning. You see, what makes Old Money families Old Money is that they often involve younger generations early on in the financial planning process.

And so, by taking this approach, they're imparting financial wisdom, values, and responsibilities from one generation to the next.

Indeed, this approach ensures that when the time comes for wealth transition or for other family members to step up and take on more responsibility for managing the family's wealth, there's a cohesive understanding and shared vision for the family's assets.

So then, when navigating the complexities of managing your family's wealth, remember that while you might be able to make swift decisions alone, the journey to preserving and growing your wealth over generations is more assured when undertaken together.

Manage Your New Money Like Old Money

Now, it’s essential to note that the three principles we discussed here today are just a starting point for managing your new money like old money. To be sure, as you stand at the crossroads of figuring out what to do with your newfound wealth, you have choices to make.

Remember, society often cheers for us to celebrate our big wins by living life in the flashy fast lane.

But, Old Money's wisdom whispers a time-tested truth, and that’s that enduring wealth isn't about racing to the finish line, but about the thoughtful, steady, and shared journey toward building a lasting legacy.

Make no mistake, while instant gratification has its momentary allure, the long view, intentional spending, and collaborative decision-making are the pillars that truly hold the house of generational wealth together.

So, as you chart your path forward, take a leaf out of the Old Money playbook, not just for the sake of following a stuffy tradition but for the promise of a future where the choices you’re making today are helping future generations take their own steps towards mastering their own financial independence journey.

by Peter Donisanu

Money Mindset Makeover: Re-writing Limiting Money Scripts

Have you ever made an impulsive big-ticket purchase that you later regretted? Or, maybe you have found yourself making choices with your money that seem out of alignment with your overall life or financial goals? If so, then you're likely familiar with the effects of your money script.

So, what is a money script?

Well, a money script is often unconscious beliefs about money, rooted in early childhood experiences and guided by family or societal expectations, that influence the way we think about and handle money. In many ways, the "script" is subconscious conditioning that tells us how to respond to money choices as we're presented with one spending or savings decision to the next.

Having awareness and greater insights into what's happening mechanically, under the surface, is the first step to setting sustainable goals and money management strategies that will endure no matter what curveballs life throws at you.

Now, it's important to note that the concept of psychological scripts has been around for a while. But more recently, this concept has been popularized, at least in the context of financial planning, by Psychologist Bradley Klontz and Sonya Britt.

In their work, Klontz and Britt divide money scripts into four categories: 1) Money Avoidance, 2) Money Worship, 3) Money Status, and 4) Money Vigilance. These first three categories are associated with lower overall financial outcomes. The last category, Money Vigilance, is often associated with a lower quality of life.

Let's take a look at the descriptions of these four categories according to Klontz and Britt's research:

Money Avoidance

Individuals who score high on money avoidance believe that money is bad or that they do not deserve money. For the money avoider, money is seen as a source of fear, anxiety, and disgust. Money avoiders have a negative association with money, believe that people of wealth are greedy and corrupt, and believe there is virtue in living with less money.

At the same time, money avoiders are likely to hold conflicting beliefs that having more money could end their problems and improve their self-worth and social status. As such, they may fluctuate between the extremes of holding great contempt for money and people of wealth and placing too much value on the role of money in their own life satisfaction.

Money avoiders may sabotage their financial success or give money away in an unconscious effort to have as little as possible, but at the same time, they may be working excessive hours in an effort to make money. Not surprisingly, money avoidance is associated with poor financial health. Money avoiders tend to have less money and lower net worth.

Money avoidance is associated with an increased risk of overspending and compulsive buying, sacrificing one's financial well-being for the sake of others, financial dependence on others, hoarding, avoiding looking at one's bank statements, trying to forget about one's financial situation and having trouble sticking to a budget.

Money Worship

At their core, money worshipers are convinced that the key to happiness and the solution of all of their problems is to have more money. At the same time, they believe that one can never have enough money and that one will never really be able to afford the things one wants in life.

The tension between believing that more money and things will make one happier and the sense that one will never have enough can result in chronic overspending in an attempt to buy happiness. Money worshipers are more likely to have lower income and lower net worth and be trapped in a cycle of revolving credit card debt.

Money worshipers are also more likely to spend compulsively, hoard possessions, put work ahead of their family relationships, try to ignore or forget about their financial situation, give money to others even though they can't afford it, and be financially dependent on others.

Money Status

People who hold money status scripts see net-worth and self-worth as being synonymous. They may pretend to have more money than they do and, as a result, are at risk of overspending in an effort to give people the impression that they are financially successful.

They believe that if they live a virtuous life, the universe will take care of their financial needs and that people are only as successful as the amount of money they earn. They have lower net worth and income and tend to grow up in families with a lower socioeconomic status.

People with money status beliefs are more likely to be compulsive spenders, depend financially on others, and lie to their spouses about spending. Holding the money status scripts is also predictive of pathological gambling, indicating individuals may gamble in an attempt to win large sums of money to prove their worth to themselves and others.

Money Vigilance

The money vigilant are alert, watchful, and concerned about their financial welfare. They believe it is crucial to save, for people to work for their money and not be given financial handouts. If they can't pay cash for something, they won't buy it and are less likely to buy on credit.

As a result, the money vigilant have higher income and higher net worth. They also tend to be anxious and secretive about their financial status with people outside of those closest to them but are less likely to lie to their spouse about spending behavior.

Money vigilance appears to be a protective factor in that the money vigilant are significantly less likely to spend compulsively, gamble excessively, enable other financial, and ignore their finances. While such an approach encourages savings and frugality, excessive wariness or anxiety could keep someone from enjoying the benefits and sense of security that money can provide.

Acknowledge Your Money Script

Do any of these money scripts resonate with you? If so, what can you do to rewrite or amend them to better align with your values and purpose for your money?

Well, the first step to setting financial goals that stick is to understand the money scripts that influence your decisions.

One approach to identifying the money script that could be sabotaging your financial goals is completing a Klontz Money Script Inventory (or KMSI).

The inventory, or survey, is a set of 51 questions designed to identify your propensity towards one script, whether that's money avoidance, money worship, money status, or money vigilance versus another.

A score above a specific threshold developed by Klontz suggests less likelihood of being influenced by a particular type of script. And a score above that threshold suggests that a particular money script may influence your financial choices.

You can complete a KMSI by visiting Klontz’s website or downloading our version of the KMSI from the FI|Mastery Journey under the February action items.

Now, it's essential to note that survey results should be taken with a grain of salt. Indeed, I believe surveys and questionnaires are useful tools for guiding further insight rather than typifying an individual into a particular bucket.

So, if you complete the survey and find yourself in disagreement with the result, don’t take it to heart. Rather, use the output as a starting place to reflect on potential subconscious influences that may be affecting your relationship with money.

If surveys aren't for you, another approach you can take to identify your money script is to spend some time in reflection.

You can start by asking yourself the following questions:

What was the first big purchase you ever made?
What was your first job like?
How did money play a part in your childhood?
If you could change one thing about what you were taught as a child about money, what would it be?
What did you learn from your parents or grandparents about money? As you think about these questions, jot down a few sentences describing the situation.

Next, write down the feeling you recall from the memory.

Was it positive or negative? Did the event give you hope or leave you feeling regretful?

Then, identify a value that represents this memory. Try not to read into the intention of others, but rather, how you personally observe the outcome yourself.

Finally, evaluate whether the value of these influential memories aligns with the values that you defined in your own value ladder. Do the values related to these money memories reflect what's essential to you in your life today?

Again, the purpose of this exercise is to gain information about what may be influencing your money decisions, and more importantly, the beliefs that could be throwing you off of your financial independence goals.

Make no mistake, evaluating your money script is the first part of setting SMART goals. Doing so will allow you to better understand how to think about money and the way they affect your decision-making. Getting this out into the open now can later reduce your odds of goal sabotage and improve your chances of achieving your life success.

feelings play a significant role in changing subconscious behaviors because they serve as an emotional feedback mechanism

Use Dissatisfaction as Your Catalyst for Change

So now that have better insight in your potential money script, or the subconscious beliefs driving your money decisions, what can you do to start making more constructive financial choices and reduce your chances of goal derailment?

Well, one approach to challenging defeating beliefs and their unwanted behavior is to use your feelings to guide your next steps.

And I know, at this point, you may be asking yourself, “in a world primarily driven by logic, data, and analysis, what role do feelings have in setting financial goals?

Well, feelings play a significant role in changing subconscious behaviors because they serve as an emotional feedback mechanism.

For example, when a person experiences strong emotions, such as guilt, shame, or anxiety, it can influence their subconscious behaviors by creating a drive to change them. This emotional feedback can make lasting changes by forming new neural connections in the brain that reinforce desired behaviors and weaken connections to old habits.

At the same time, positive emotions like joy and pride can also increase motivation to continue healthy behaviors. Thus, feelings can be a powerful tool in changing subconscious behaviors.

More specifically, what we're trying to do is elicit an emotion, or rather that feeling of dissatisfaction, that comes from a keen awareness that some financial choices we made were less than ideal compared with our current values and life purpose.

So, the first step in amending your money script so that you can avoid making the same choices that once derailed your past financial goals, is to identify the gap between your current money script and the outcomes that you want to see from a life lived according to your values and desired life purpose.

Like it or not, we are creatures driven primarily by our feelings first, then logic.

And so, this step of eliciting emotions is essential to prompting change because thoughts, beliefs, and actions that are hardcoded in our subconscious mind are rarely changed simply by logic or pure will.

It's like the individual who makes a new year's resolution in January to lose ten pounds. They get the gym membership, they buy new running shoes, and work out 3-4 times per week. But, as the motivation wanes, old habits, or life scripts, kick in and the commitment to the new year's resolution eventually fades.

That's why we need a catalyst for sustained improvement, and often the feeling of dissatisfaction is one of the biggest motivators we can use to stimulate that change.

So, why focus on a negative emotion like dissatisfaction instead of positive emotions like achievement or success?

Well, dissatisfaction is a crucial emotion to explore because it helps us get to our "why."

You know – it's that "why" that often starts off a question like, "why did I make that purchase" or "why didn't I save more money" that is often accompanied by a feeling of dissatisfaction with our past choices.

Now, you've likely heard the stories of individuals who, due to unfortunate lifestyle choices, found themselves in the doctor's office diagnosed with a terminal illness.

The prognosis is poor, and they're given only months to live. For some individuals, they immediately begin to contemplate their past life choices as the sense of dissatisfaction reflects their current life situation.

And for some of those individuals, the doctor's news acts like a wake-up call, or a realization that their story isn't finished. The idea of not being around for friends or family or loss of life experience itself is dissatisfying to say the least. And for these individuals, their values and life purpose immediately become clear.

And so, they use their dissatisfaction with their current situation, held in contrast to their values and desired life purpose, as a catalyst to begin making changes that allow them to turn around their situation and avoid a terminal fate.

Maybe you're asking yourself, what does any of this have to do with money? Certainly, the dissatisfaction you're experiencing with money today isn't going to lead you to the poor house.

And no doubt, we all tend to make poor financial choices from time to time.

So, what's the point of going through all of this work?

Well, the point here is to use our feelings of dissatisfaction with the patterns of unproductive financial choices to identify the behaviors that better reflect our values and the purpose that we've defined for our money.

How to Do the Work

So to get started, what you want to do is gain an awareness of your current money script. Then, take time to think about specific situations where you made financial choices that elicited a feeling of dissatisfaction and how they differed from your values and purpose.

One way to do this is to take out a piece of paper and divide it into the following five columns:

Event
Why
Script
Value and Purpose and
Desired Outcome

You can also download and fill out the Money Catalyst worksheet from the FI|Mastery Journey in the February Action items.

Then, in the first column, jot down a past event that elicited a feeling of dissatisfaction. Maybe one example is buying an expensive car that you didn't need.

In the next column, write down one sentence describing your why for that financial decision. In our illustration, it could be that you made the purchase to validate your self-worth by showing off your net worth.

Then, in the next column, identify in just a few words what script this decision was playing out. You can look back to the Klontz example we mentioned earlier for ideas here.

Then, in the fourth column, write down your current value and purpose related to this event in a few words.

And then in the final column, make a quick note of what choice you would have liked to have made in the past that would have better reflected your current value and purpose.

We'll use your answers here as steps for amending your money script. But for now, use this approach to gain awareness of where you're at and where you'd like to go.

Again, one of the first steps to rewriting or amending your money script is to use your sense of dissatisfaction with past financial choices to identify the gap between your current money script and your values and money's purpose.

To accomplish this outcome, take some time to think through past financial choices that have elicited feelings of dissatisfaction and identify why you made that particular choice, the script playing out, the values and purpose related to that event, and the desired outcome you would like to have seen.

Reframe Your Money Script by Creating Desirable Life Experiences

Thus far, we’ve discussed what money scripts are and what they look like, and how to elicit emotions to spark change towards your desired money script.

So, how exactly do we go about making the changes we discussed here? Well, think about the next step of change in the context of broader human behavior.

For example, have you ever wondered why do some individuals from war-torn countries decide to migrate while others choose to stay behind?

Certainly, while family ties and financial resources may be one consideration for those choosing not to immigrate, for those seeking out new destinations, the conflict experienced in their homeland might push them to consider leaving, with the prospect of a better life being the pull to draw them to their target country.

Ernest Ravenstein, who is widely regarded as the earliest migration theorist, put forth a push-pull theory that described why individuals choose to leave one country for another. For instance, these individuals may be "pushed" by unfavorable laws, taxes, or conflict in their home country and "pulled" by the prospect of greater freedoms or economic stability in their destination country.

This push-pull behavior is relevant not just to migration but genuinely applicable to all aspects of our lives where we want to see change take place. And with respect to changing our relationship with money, dissatisfaction might be the push that we need to move us out of unproductive money scripts.

"Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity. This is why habits are crucial. They cast repeated votes for being a certain type of person."

James Clear

Where does the pull come from?

Well, that pull that we need likely comes from creating the conditions that bring our desired values and life purpose into reality.

So, to bridge the divide, we need to find ways to create a new belief system that help pull us toward amending or rewriting our money script.

This change process involves more than creating positive affirmations or good intentions. Indeed, simply knowing what you should do differently in the future with your money fails to lead to durable change when your current belief system does not back it, is not supported by your current actions and ultimately does not address the underlying subconscious biases running around the clock.

Indeed, when you engage in behaviors that do not align with your subconscious value systems, it leads to self-correcting behaviors that bring you back to where you want to be today.

Psychologists refer to this behavior as cognitive dissonance.

It arises when a person's beliefs or behaviors are inconsistent with each other, and the individual is forced to choose between them. This inconsistency can result in feelings of discomfort, anxiety, and tension, which can motivate the person to resort to old beliefs or behaviors to restore balance and reduce the discomfort.

So, how do you change your belief systems? Well, rather than starting with positive affirmations, choose to begin with identifying and completing experiences that align with the desired values and purpose you've defined for your life and money.

In his book, "Atomic Habits," James Clear describes how "Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity. This is why habits are crucial. They cast repeated votes for being a certain type of person."

Therefore, thinking about the change in our behavior with money is only the first step. Affecting that change is challenging because there are a variety of processes taking place in our brains that affect our belief systems.

And a common aphorism used in neuroscience that explains this process is that "neurons that fire together, wire together."

This means that our sense of experience results from complex interactions between various brain regions and systems that process sensory information from the environment and create subjective experiences.

The process begins with sensory receptors in the body (such as the eyes, ears, skin, etc.) that sends signals to the brain that are then transformed into electrical and chemical signals. These signals are processed and integrated in various brain regions, including the thalamus, the sensory cortex, and the limbic system. The final product is the conscious perception of the experience, which is stored in memory and can influence future behavior and decision-making.

That's why experiences are essential to reframing and amending your money script. The more areas within our brain that we can activate as we're engaging in our desired money script, the more connections we make. This increases the likelihood of creating durable change in our money habits.

Reframe Your Money Script by Creating Desirable Life Experiences

So how do you go about making lasting changes and finally rewrite your money script?

Well, to amend your money script you need to create experiences that help you cast repeated votes for being your desired person.

How can you do this?

Let's look at this from the perspective of an individual with the money avoidance script.

For example, suppose you find it difficult to review your bank statements and keep track of your spending from one month to the next. Maybe the fear of knowing that you may have over spent has you laden with guilt underpinning your avoidance.

And so, if your values and purpose of your money are centered around achieving financial freedom, then you know how vital it is to keep track of your spending.

And reviewing your bank statements is an essential first start to this end.

So, how can you amend your avoidant money script so that you get past the fear of reviewing your bank statements?

Well, to begin, use your feeling of dissatisfaction as your catalyst for change.

Before diving in, create a whole sensory experience that aligns with the positive money script you're trying to create. Remember, we experience the world around us with all of our senses: sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell, body position, and sense of space, to name a few.

Therefore, if you're going to rewrite the script, do it at a time and in a place where you can be calm, centered, free of distractions or worries about work and family, and otherwise safe as you dive into your bank statements.

Why?

Well, while this approach may seem superficial, ultimately, the message that we're trying to give your body is that reviewing your bank statements is safe.

Remember, the neurons that fire together wire together.

Now, when you’re in a calm, safe place, pull up your financial institution's website on your phone, laptop, or computer. Then, review your last month's bank transactions, and organize the transactions by category.

As you go through the work, avoid assigning judgment to any of your spending decisions. Simply use your time in this calm, safe space to bring awareness to your current habits. Then, bring awareness to any unwanted pattern of spending and acknowledge that your feelings of dissatisfaction are coming from a place of old money scripts and that you're committed to positive changes.

Next, pick out one spending categories where you'd like to see improvement and write them down. Do you want to spend less money using Uber eats? If so, what's the alternative? Jot down a few other options and create an immediate action plan for how you will avoid the use of takeout for the week and what reward you'll give yourself for taking this step.

Inevitably, you'll find yourself pressed for time at some point in the coming week. When this happens, refer back to your action plan.

Finally, assign yourself a reward for following through on your action plan. Operant conditioning, as described by B.F. Skinner states that behavior is shaped and maintained by its consequences. When a behavior is followed by a reinforcing consequence, such as a reward, the behavior is more likely to be repeated in the future.

So be sure to treat yourself when you engage in behaviors that reflect the new money script that you’re trying to create, and ultimately the values and purpose that you’ve defined for your money.

Now, in this example we referenced the Avoidant type money script. You can repeat this same process if you find yourself dealing with a different one of the other scripts here as well.

Either way, remember that by bringing awareness to your current money script and using dissatisfaction with it can be the "push" you need to move towards a more desirable money outcome. Your values and money purpose are the "pull" to draw you towards your money goals. And to create lasting behavioral change, you'll need to create new, positive experiences that enable you to bridge the gap.

While it may be tempting to set ambitious goals to spark this change, start small. Remember Clear's advice: Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity. This is why habits are crucial. They cast repeated votes for being a particular type of person.

In upcoming posts, we’ll dive deeper into bringing together your SMART financial goals and setting habits for achieving them throughout the course of the year. For now, taking these few steps will not only help make over your money mindset, they’ll bring you closer to becoming the master of your financial independence journey.

by Peter Donisanu

Teaching Children Financial Literacy

Parents share a lot of private things with their children in hope that the information will help them grow into successful adults. But there is one topic most parents try to avoid talking about at all costs. And no, it is not what you are thinking.

For many parents, the idea of having the "money talk" with their kids is a terrifying thought. The biggest reason parents avoid the topic is they don't believe they know enough about money themselves and fear they will give their children the wrong information.

Although discussing the topic of money with your kids can be uncomfortable, it is a necessary step in their development. Few schools teach courses on how to handle money the right way. Without learning money management skills at home, your kids are going to be in for a few nasty surprises when they get older.

Are you worried about your children's money skills? Start with the following four tips for teaching financial literacy to your kids.

1. Let Kids Experiment

One effective way to help kids learn how to make budgets is to give them the chance to make mistakes on their own. A small allowance each week is the perfect incentive for children to learn how to budget. Do they want to blow this week's money on candy and a cheap toy, or save up a few weeks to get something they really want? Of course, some children will still be impulsive and want to spend their funds right away, but better they learn to make mistakes with $10 than $10,000.

2. Include Children in Household Budgeting

Do you have a shopping or entertainment budget each month? Try including an older child on budget planning for the next month. Kids learn quickly when they have to stay home bored for two weeks because they blew the entertainment fund during the first half of the month. Another great idea is to set a grocery budget for an upcoming trip, make your week's list, and then take your child to the grocery store with you. As you place items in your cart, have your child add up the cost of each item until you hit your limit. This is another great exercise in making choices based on limited funds.

3. Gameify It

Turn budgeting and saving money into a game. Give your shopping lists to your younger kids and let them search online or in the newspaper for coupons and sales. Maybe you could promise to put a percentage of the money they save into a bank account for them to purchase something special down the road. You could even encourage older children to learn lifelong investment skills by participating in a stock trading simulator such as The Stock Market Game.

4. Make Them Earn It

Knowing how to save, invest, and spend money is important, but one of the best things you can do for your children is to instill a good work ethic in them by letting them earn money on their own. Whether your teen works part-time at the movie theater, or you help your little ones start a lemonade stand, the willingness to work hard and be rewarded is one of the best financial lessons you can pass on to them.

These tips are only the start. Use the opportunity of teaching your kids about financial literacy to learn more about it yourself!

by Peter Donisanu

How to Talk to Your Kids About Money

Opening up and starting conversations about how to handle money and finances with your kids may seem overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. As a parent, it is your role to serve as a positive influence in their lives to get them on the right financial track. Here are five things to consider as you embark on helping your children understand the importance of being responsible with their finances.

Start Simply, When They Are Young

Start discussing money with even the littlest ones by including by including them in everyday activities, such as grocery shopping or budgeting. This allows money to become a tangible concept and not some abstract thing that they cannot see. You can also ask them questions such as "We have 5 dollars to buy a treat, would you pick ice cream or cookies?". These types of conversations help children to understand that their are trade-offs to any decision, and that money is not infinite.

Be Truthful

Being honest with your kids is a great first step to opening the door to discussing finances. You can share the family budget for items like groceries or entertainment, and explain remind them of this limit when they ask for items that don't fit within it.

Additionally, If there are things in your financial past, such as going into debt, that you are not proud of, share that with your kids. Honest moments with your kids are very valuable and will help build trust. Keep in mind that the more open and honest you are with your kids, the more open they will be with you, so being truthful about your own finances is a great place to start.

Talk About Values

Encourage your kids to consider what is important to them for their future. Start by asking questions such as "Do you want to own a house or rent when you grow up? or "What splurges would you like to be able to make when you grow up (travel, cars, etc)?".

Helping kids to visualize what they want for the future is a crucial component to talking to kids about money and financial goals. Talking about what they value and hope to have in their future allows them to take a long-term view, which is critical to the concepts of saving, budgeting, and paying down debts.

Establish Family Goals

As a family, talk about your budgeting methods and set specific goals together. For instance, perhaps you set a weekly grocery limit of $150. Take your children to the store with you when you shop and have them help look for sales or clip coupons to keep your cart under budget. Involving your children however you can with the family finances is a great hands-on way to educate them and give them a chance to see real-life examples of how their financial habits will impact them in the future.

Lead By Example

There may be certain financial topics that you are not as knowledgeable about, and that’s okay! Take the opportunity to learn with your kids. Showing your kids that you are interested in growing your understanding of financial topics will heighten their interest in it as well.

Talking to your kids about money may seem like a daunting conversation to have if you don’t know how to approach it properly. However, broaching the subject sooner rather than later will reap many benefits for you and your kids. Ultimately, you want your kids to have the knowledge and skills they need to handle their own finances responsibly as they grow up. As a parent, it’s your job to instill this knowledge in them and to open the door to an often taboo subject so that you can help them get off on the right foot with their finances. Financial habits are formed young, so it’s critical that you start early and start the conversation today. Make your kids feel comfortable to talk about finances with you by using these tips.

by Peter Donisanu

Family Office

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Recognizing Your Service Helpers: Why Year-End Gifts Matter

Expressing Gratitude to Those Who Make Life Easier

Gifting to Colleagues and Business Partners: Strengthening Professional Bonds

Strengthening Professional Bonds with Meaningful Gifts

Charity Gifts that Matter: Making a Difference in Your Community

Choosing the Right Charitable Path this Holiday Season

Beyond Material Value: The True Essence of Giving Back

Use a Giving Strategy to Help Causes You Care About

Section 1: Start with your Why

The Practice of Why

Section 2: Identify Your Level of Commitment

Gifting

Philanthropy

Effective Altruism

Choosing Your Level of Commitment

Section 3: Build Your Giving Strategy

How to Give Your Money Away with Peace of Mind

Living Your Legacy vs. Leaving a Legacy

Legacy Goes Beyond Money

It's About Relationships

Wealth as a Experience Amplifier

Wealth as a Knowledge Amplifier

A Framework for Intention

Foundations: Family and Community

Relationships: Create Structure for your Legacy

Building Resilience Into Your Home

Values Shape the Direction of Future Generations

Creating a Lasting Legacy

Crafting a Vision for Your Legacy

Documenting Your Legacy

Strategic Legacy Planning

How to Avoid Leaving a Failed Legacy

Manage Your New Money Like Old Money

Principle #1: Old Money Starts with the Long View

Start with the End in Mind

Principle #2: Old Money Spends Money Where it Counts

Principle #3: Old Money Knows when to Make it a Collaborative Effort

Manage Your New Money Like Old Money

Money Mindset Makeover: Re-writing Limiting Money Scripts

Money Avoidance

Money Worship

Money Status

Money Vigilance

Acknowledge Your Money Script

feelings play a significant role in changing subconscious behaviors because they serve as an emotional feedback mechanism

Use Dissatisfaction as Your Catalyst for Change

How to Do the Work

Reframe Your Money Script by Creating Desirable Life Experiences

Reframe Your Money Script by Creating Desirable Life Experiences

Teaching Children Financial Literacy

1. Let Kids Experiment

2. Include Children in Household Budgeting

3. Gameify It

4. Make Them Earn It

How to Talk to Your Kids About Money

Start Simply, When They Are Young

Be Truthful

Talk About Values

Establish Family Goals

Lead By Example